Heights
Published on December 14, 2005 By pseudosoldier In Philosophy
Where does fear come from? It comes from within us, but before that, what was the origin of a specific fear? My lack of confidence feeds my phobias, as I feel unable to overcome them, and I'm filled with dread even when facing the possibility of them.

Heights

I don't know where my fear of heights comes from. Was I dropped as a baby? Dangled too high by my tall Uncle Mike, who loved to rough-house with my constantly fearful toddler-ness?

But it continued to affect me, continues in fact to this day. A mere trip up onto the roof, climbing onto a step ladder to hoist myself up... no thanks, I'll strain to reach the gutters from the relative safety of the ladder. I don't realize that I cave to the fear when I do that, because it doesn't seem like a big deal at the time.

I've faced it before, tellingly. Camp Challenge, Fort Knox, Kentucky, rappel tower. Go down the 45 degree slope, go down the vertical drop, go off the helicopter skid. Helicopter skid? Screw that. But I at least took the opportunity to do the vertical drop twice.

random SSG: "Didn't you already do this?"
Cadet pseudosoldier: "Yes, SSG, but I'm afraid of heights and thought I'd try and face my fears."
random SSG: "..."
random SSG: "Shit, I'd send you back down, but it's faster this way. Just fucking go."


Mostly, I don't have to deal with it. I'm more used to six-foot heights, though.

I know, I know... I'm not afraid of the falling but instead the sudden stop at the end...

Comments
on Dec 14, 2005

I HATE heights.  With a passion.  I'm alright flying, but buildings make me jelly-kneed.  We went up the Arch earlier this year and I had to come back down after 5 mins because I got the collywobbles. 

Even a scene from a high building on TV or in a movies makes my stomach do a flip and my knuckles clench.

I tried to face my fear once by going to the top of Cologne cathederal tower....I made it up there but stood with my back to the wall the entire time.  Couldn't go near the edge....

...and as I write this I'm getting that feeling again.  See, even thinking about them makes me feel uneasy.

on Dec 14, 2005
I have no problem with most heights (buildings, ranger towers, Victory Tower, etc...) but standing on a chair or the top of a ladder terrifies me... it is likely due to the fact that I was born with no depth perception...
on Dec 15, 2005

I got the collywobbles.

I like that term!  great one!  Ny fear of heights is much like yours.  However, I am fine inside of a building with walls.  But even tho I passed over the Golden Gate Bridge scores of times, I could never look over the railing, or I would get the collywobbles as well!

on Dec 15, 2005
So you mean you don't want to go skydiving when you get here?
on Dec 16, 2005
you don't want to go skydiving


How much is it?

I mean, it's not my first choice to unwind after a hard day (not that you've had a hard day since you got there), but I might consider it... and be frightened out of my gourd the entire time.
on Dec 17, 2005
A very good friend of mine loved it, he always said, " when you are falling at 100+ MPH, your problems can't keep up!"
on Dec 18, 2005
I am terrifed of giant green and yellow space frogs.