My Recent Culinary Experiments

Published on December 9, 2004 By pseudosoldier In Cooking

It has been a point of debate whether I can cook anything more complex than a microwave burrito or a box of generic mac and cheese. (I do make a mean microwave burrito, tho.) This and other circumstances have finally compelled me to try my hand in the kitchen.

My first recent excursion saw me foregoing my oft-revered drink of choice... for another bourbon. Thankfully, it was a cooler head then mine that led me to Knob Creek instead of Old Crow for the Thanksgiving Candied Yams with Bourbon. Recipe is here: Link but I must warn you, it's pretty vague. Prep time was excruciating, and actual cooking time isn't even hinted at (it's much longer than I had supposed). Thankfully, a kitchen elf was around to not only remove the pan of yams from the oven long after I had gone to bed, but to also sprinkle what had been described as "spice crack" on top of the dish and refrigerate until morning. I simply reheated the thing when I awoke, and brought it into work. Rave reviews all around; the only thing I would've done differently would be to double the amount I made (which would've involved me boiling sweet potatoes the day prior to the day I wanted to actually cook.)

This was awhile ago, and it was just this past weekend that I again ventured into some heretofore uncharted territory. Uttering the phrase, "Is this roast still good? Maybe I'll just make that," seems to be tempting fate and the gods. Lord knows, maybe the meat was tainted, and that just added to the flavor. Recipe is here: Link but I'll warn you again, this time more stringently: apparently the way to make this the best is to fuck everything up pretty good.
First off, it was a pork roast. This was something I had noticed when I got it out of the fridge, but then immediately forgot once I sat down to Google up a recipe. I got all the other ingredients correct, except I used a full can of beef broth, which I can only shrug about. It seems that "cook on low" shit is right out the window as well, as I put it on high "just to kickstart it," I thought to myself, and then walked away, showered, got dressed and went to the store. Four hours later, I'm home and thinking, "Man, that smell is strong." "Oh, look, it's boiling."
But the damned thing was one of the tastiest bad roasts I've ever had. So there.

Finally, today I made "Slow Cooker Helper Beef Stroganoff" from Hamburger Helper. Not my idea, seriously, but it was touted as "faster than making it all ourselves." It was rather easy, and with the crock pot, it almost seems like you're actually cooking, just because it takes three hours, and adding the noodles is an additional step. Pretty tasty, but I'm sure I could've cobbled that together myself, somehow...

I may be trying more in the near future. Maybe I'll update with those results as well. Maybe I'll update...

Comments

oleteach

on Dec 09, 2004

Your descriptions of your cooking make my mouth water...I am eating mostly salads so anything with a sauce or gravy is off my list. Glad you could share.

Spc Nobody Special

on Dec 09, 2004

Oh you wild and crazy nco, you. Next thing you know, you'll be adding avocadoes...............

greywar

on Dec 14, 2004

I can also recommend Tuna Ramen Helper. But you have to be drunk to cook it.

Spc Nobody Special

on Dec 14, 2004

Can't you just be drunk when you eat it?

greywar

on Dec 14, 2004

Can't you just be drunk when you eat it?

That helps too.

pseudosoldier

on Dec 14, 2004

I'm not sure about the Tuna Ramen Helper. Maybe I can give it a try if a certain someone does go to drill in January. Then again, I may just revert to the Ramen and Whiskey diet (patent pending).

pseudosoldier

on Dec 16, 2004

Update: Don't make Alfredo style Tuna Helper with rancid milk. Also note that kids might eat anything you set in front of them, even if it's made with rancid milk.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!