Running/Marching Cadence
Published on May 27, 2007 By pseudosoldier In Humor
Full disclaimer: If you will be offended by something that makes light of people with terminal illnesses, who are on life support, or are otherwise suffering due to severe illness DO NOT READ FURTHER. Also, don't preach to me about it, 'kay? I understand this is a sensitive area for some; it's why some units don't allow this cadence to be sung. (Still very popular amongst Marines and other macho types.)



My girl's a vegetable
She lives in a hospital
And I would do anything
To keep her alive

She hasn't got no eyes
Just holes filled with puss and flies
But I would do anything
To keep her alive

My girl ain't got no legs
Just two poles with pins and pegs
But I would do anything
To keep her alive

My girl ain't got no hair
Just a hat they put up there
But I would do anything
To keep her alive

My girl ain't got no skin
Just the bag they keep her in
AndI would do anything
To keep her alive

My girl's got her own TV
They call it an EKG
And I would do anything
To keep her alive

One time just for a joke
Pulled the plug to watch her choke
Now I can't do anything
To keep her alive

Comments
on May 27, 2007
One time just for a joke
Pulled the plug to watch her choke
Now I can't do anything
To keep her alive


omg! I was spat my coffee out all over the place! ROFL I know I should not be, but I am. (how terrible am I? lol)
on May 27, 2007
Her Bed's remote control
push the buttons watch her fold
I won't do anything
to keep her alive
on May 27, 2007
Thanks for the addition, Geezer! I'm sure there are about a dozen more verses (and variations on the ones I have down already), so addendums to what I already have are very welcome.
on May 27, 2007
This is one of those guilty pleasures.... I think I heard it first when Nbs was at PLDC. I heard a lot of cadences that month. The funniest though was when he had to come up with his own, and he had me give him the words to Fat Bottomed Girls over the phone so he could use it as a cadence to teach every one the next day.
on May 27, 2007
Which, in turn, reminds me of one that a pair of NCOs in my current unit use: Fat Is Where It's At. I don't know if they get through the whole thing...
on May 27, 2007
Thanks for posting this. Some of it sounds a little different from the version I've heard.

on May 28, 2007
Military cadences are almost entirely an "oral lore" sort of learning... I bought a book on cadences at the PX/Clothing Sales, and it's fricking terrible. The running cadence cassettes/CDs tend to be a little better, but not always. Most people learn these by hearing them in formation, so there are going to be minor (or even very major) variances.