I have a gas grill that I "inherited" in a somewhat convoluted way... On a side note, it is apparently Canadian, which substituted, for a while amongst my friends, for the common derogatory "gay." As in, "That's so gay," which could also be, "That's so stupid," or more correctly, "I don't like that but don't want to try to come up with a rational reason to dislike it." So we would say, "That's so Canadian," or, "Dude, don't be so Canadian." We intended no disrespect for our friends north of the border, it just seemed like it was as arbitrary as calling something "gay" and makes about as much sense.

Anyway, the grill. This grill is on the balcony/porch of my apartment. It was brought to my current residence by SSG Maddog in her truck, when she came back from a weekend at FT Hood (3 hour drive). She and SPC CoCo picked it up at the residence of my ex; they called to make sure they had the right grill (first hard evidence I had that my ex's BF had moved in: his grill was in the backyard). The grill did not belong to us: it had been brought up to our house from SSG Noslo's place so we could grill for our two families. The backyard of the house we were renting was really nice, so they preferred to come see us and we didn't have a grill. Even after the Noslos moved away, the grill remained. But it didn't belong to them, either.

[deep breath] The grill had moved over to their house as if pulled by gravity, but had before that resided next door. SPC Egregious had brought it with him when he moved into Ye Olde "Cracker Shack," which had turned into a bit of a hovel/flop house for many of our single Specialists and Sergeants. Egregious didn't even pay rent, but no one was going to kick him out. I mean, he couldn't afford to pay rent, so he had to rely on the charity of his friends. He had already had significant bills mounting and then he and his wife got divorced, which put a further drain on his finances.

On the bright side, he got most of the stuff at the place they had been renting (since she more or less ran away from home), including this grill. It had been a wedding present, see. (I did contact him later and check, but I had always figured he'd rather me get it in the divorce than leave it for my ex. I was right.)

Anyway, if you suffered through that (or just scrolled down), here's the payoff: my dinner tonight.

Recipe on back of Heirloom Grill-A-Bella Mushroom package:

8 thick slices sourdough bread
4 Monterey (R) Heirloom Grill-A-Bella (tm) Mushrooms
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
1 1/2 cups fresh onion relish or salsa
4 slices (1-ounce each) fontina, Monterey Jack or other mild semi-soft cheese

Grill or toast bread slices on both sides. Cut shallow "X" where the stem was attached and lightly score top of caps in diamond pattern. Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill over medium heat, turning once, until tender and lightly browned, about 8 to 10 minutes on each side. Place 1 cap on each of 4 slices of bread. Top with 1/4-cup relish, 1 slice of cheese and another slice of bread. Return to grill and heat until cheese is melted, about 1 minute. Serve with favorite condiments.

Makes 4 servings.
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes

Alterations I made:
The package only came with two (large) portabella caps, ready for grilling, so I halved the recipe. I used olive oil cooking spray instead of brushing it on and I skipped the salt and pepper. I used regular salsa (Pace) instead of the onion whatnot and used a slice of processed pepperjack cheese made with 2% milk. I didn't score the tops or "X" the bottoms like it said, and I should have. I got impatient (I was really hungry) so one of the sandwiches was a little underdone; no big, it's just a giant fungus anyway, doesn't need to be thoroughly cooked, right?

I like how the directions tell you how to MAKE A STINKING SANDWICH in case you had never seen one before.

Per sandwich, as I prepared them:
200 cal, 45 fat cal, 4.5g fat, 1.5g saturated fat, 22g carb, 8g fiber, 15g protein

Oh, and I guess I should explain: the carb count above doesn't include the fiber count, so if you track differently add it in.

on Apr 14, 2007
Sounds really yummy, especially to a girl who doesn't eat ground beef.

Wow@ how low the calories are...I may have to make this. Are the mushrooms you used just regular portabella mushrooms?
on Apr 14, 2007
And how you didn't follow them!

Oh, I followed the ones on how to make a sandwich: the ones that tell you put the thing on the bread, put the other stuff on top of it, then put that other slice of bread on top of that. You know, you wouldn't want to forget that second slice of bread in the instructions on how to make a sandwich...

Are the mushrooms you used just regular portabella mushrooms?

Well, I did use the mushrooms mentioned in the recipe, the Monterey "Grill-A-Bella" ones. They're just a really big portabella cap, almost all of the stem was removed so it would lay flat on a grill. I really don't think they did anything else to prepare them, just packaged them with the "Grill-A-Bella" trademarked name so they could remind you that you could grill them and simultaneously charge more money. I don't think there would be an issue if you got less expensive (out of the package) portabella caps to try this with.

I was impressed with the fiber count (it makes sense, it's all roughage, right?) and the protein count for a non-meat food.

I think a slab of roasted red pepper would have topped it off perfectly.

I think that's a good call. And that's only going to add maybe 15 calories per sandwich, too. Vegetables are a good way to bulk something up without really impacting the caloric content.
on Apr 16, 2007

I use portabellas all the time instead of burgers, so yes, you can just use any large portabella.  You just need to trim the stem so that it is flat with the cap.  (You can keep the stems for cooking with, though, in other dishes).

The scoring helps keep the oil on the cap long enough to get the buggers cooked before they start becoming one with the grill.

This is my favorite Portobella burger:

Grilled Portobella mushroom
Whole Grain bun (toasted)
Yellow and orange pepper strips (put in foil on grill while shroom is cooking)
Parmesan cheese (you put this on the shroom right after it leaves the grill so that it melts)
Light amount of garlic mayo (mix a bit of crushed garlic in mayo and let it sit overnight)