I have a gas grill that I "inherited" in a somewhat convoluted way... On a side note, it is apparently Canadian, which substituted, for a while amongst my friends, for the common derogatory "gay." As in, "That's so gay," which could also be, "That's so stupid," or more correctly, "I don't like that but don't want to try to come up with a rational reason to dislike it." So we would say, "That's so Canadian," or, "Dude, don't be so Canadian." We intended no disrespect for our friends north of the border, it just seemed like it was as arbitrary as calling something "gay" and makes about as much sense.
Anyway, the grill. This grill is on the balcony/porch of my apartment. It was brought to my current residence by SSG Maddog in her truck, when she came back from a weekend at FT Hood (3 hour drive). She and SPC CoCo picked it up at the residence of my ex; they called to make sure they had the right grill (first hard evidence I had that my ex's BF had moved in: his grill was in the backyard). The grill did not belong to us: it had been brought up to our house from SSG Noslo's place so we could grill for our two families. The backyard of the house we were renting was really nice, so they preferred to come see us and we didn't have a grill. Even after the Noslos moved away, the grill remained. But it didn't belong to them, either.
[deep breath] The grill had moved over to their house as if pulled by gravity, but had before that resided next door. SPC Egregious had brought it with him when he moved into Ye Olde "Cracker Shack," which had turned into a bit of a hovel/flop house for many of our single Specialists and Sergeants. Egregious didn't even pay rent, but no one was going to kick him out. I mean, he couldn't afford to pay rent, so he had to rely on the charity of his friends. He had already had significant bills mounting and then he and his wife got divorced, which put a further drain on his finances.
On the bright side, he got most of the stuff at the place they had been renting (since she more or less ran away from home), including this grill. It had been a wedding present, see. (I did contact him later and check, but I had always figured he'd rather me get it in the divorce than leave it for my ex. I was right.)
Anyway, if you suffered through that (or just scrolled down), here's the payoff: my dinner tonight.
Recipe on back of Heirloom Grill-A-Bella Mushroom package:
8 thick slices sourdough bread
4 Monterey (R) Heirloom Grill-A-Bella (tm) Mushrooms
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
1 1/2 cups fresh onion relish or salsa
4 slices (1-ounce each) fontina, Monterey Jack or other mild semi-soft cheese
Grill or toast bread slices on both sides. Cut shallow "X" where the stem was attached and lightly score top of caps in diamond pattern. Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill over medium heat, turning once, until tender and lightly browned, about 8 to 10 minutes on each side. Place 1 cap on each of 4 slices of bread. Top with 1/4-cup relish, 1 slice of cheese and another slice of bread. Return to grill and heat until cheese is melted, about 1 minute. Serve with favorite condiments.
Makes 4 servings.
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes
Alterations I made:
The package only came with two (large) portabella caps, ready for grilling, so I halved the recipe. I used olive oil cooking spray instead of brushing it on and I skipped the salt and pepper. I used regular salsa (Pace) instead of the onion whatnot and used a slice of processed pepperjack cheese made with 2% milk. I didn't score the tops or "X" the bottoms like it said, and I should have. I got impatient (I was really hungry) so one of the sandwiches was a little underdone; no big, it's just a giant fungus anyway, doesn't need to be thoroughly cooked, right?
I like how the directions tell you how to MAKE A STINKING SANDWICH in case you had never seen one before.
Per sandwich, as I prepared them:
200 cal, 45 fat cal, 4.5g fat, 1.5g saturated fat, 22g carb, 8g fiber, 15g protein
Oh, and I guess I should explain: the carb count above doesn't include the fiber count, so if you track differently add it in.